Software Downloads and Quizzes

Ask Satan
File Size: 7.86 MB
This program works like a magic 8 ball, except your questions are answered, not by an enlarged, water filled pool ball, but by the great lord Satan himself. Wondering about the future? Got any questions about your life, or other people's lives? Want stock investment recommendations? Then download this App, ask your question, and hit the "Ask Satan" button and the lord of lies shall respond.

Binary Converter
File Size: 28.0 KB
Convert any text into binary code, and decode any binary data into text. For anyone not familiar with binary, its the reason you can read this text in the first place. It's machine language, composed of naught but little ones and zeros. What the fuck might you possibly do with the binary converter? You could encode any text you want kept secret. Just hope no one reading it understands binary (or has this software). To circumvent cases such as these, you'd have to get my other encoder, which no one will understand. However, I'm not distributing it, because then just anyone could read incriminating things I type such as [4{][!V][F:][#F][5"]['_][E)][,<][E)][>(][.@][F:][5@][,!]

Cyber Dice
File Size: 20.0 KB
This software is the die of the future! No more having to strenuously lift up heavy dice, then vulgarly throw them onto a hard surface. That's just primitive! With this application, you can generate random numbers with a range of your choosing without those un-technological cubes of the past.

The Data Recovery Crusade game
File Size: N/A: Not downloadable
The storyline of this game takes place on a desktop computer, a computer infected with so many lethal computer viruses that the functionality of your precious PC is almost non existent. You, as an anti-virus piece of software, are to fight these computer viruses, and back up all lost data on the hard drive. I don't know about you, but the heroes of most modern computer games I cannot relate to. Let the villains have their fun. But I think anyone can relate to the cause of this game (assuming you have a computer). Who here hates viruses as much as I do? That is, unless I programmed those viruses (those kind are the best!).

The Do You Deserve to Die Test
File Size: N/A: Not downloadable
Ever feel guilty? Me neither. But if you do, do you ever feel guilty enough that you think you deserve to die? Well, this test will tell you exactly what you need to know: whether you do in fact deserve to die or not. So cross your fingers (if you ascribe to such superstitious notions) and find out if you deserve death.

Dr. Satan's Psychiatric Evaluation
File Size: N/A: Not downloadable
This is a quiz questionnaire provided by Satan himself. It will evaluate your mental health and diagnose you accordingly, according to DSM-666 criteria. Satan, having graduated with honors with an M.D. in whatever at the university of something, will psychoanalyze you. The details don’t matter, just get your diagnosis. Keep in mind that these are genuine diagnoses, and are official and professional. Any diagnosis you receive is genuine, and you should take it to heart. No use seeking paid-for professional help if you do feel you have a mental disability, this quiz is all you need. Don’t seek professional help for your problems, just take this test.

The Gladiator Arena
File Size: N/A: Not downloadable
Build your own customized gladiator teams, and fight them with one another. You get to decide which gladiators have and do what. You determine their weapons, fighting style, strength, speed, numbers, etc. Build teams to fight in order to make bets and gamble on which team will be likely to win, or just experiment with the features of this game to see what strengths and weaknesses do what when it comes time for the combat. You get to play god and create your own armies, and then have them kill each other and fight to the death just for fun. Isn't that the point of being god?

Infection Perfection
File Size: 1.83 MB
I feel that do-gooder causes are a trite goal in today's computer games. It's all been done too many times. How many good guys do we gamers have to play? Well, this game is a breath of fresh air, for helping others will quickly get you a game over. In this game, your goal, as a lethal germ, is to filter your way through the blood stream of the human host you inhabit and infect the poor man's heart, reducing it to pulsating, quivering mush, killing your host. What infectious germ wouldn't want that?

Metaphor Generator
File Size: 60.0 KB
This software will make a poet out of anyone, even the painfully uncreative. Select from a combination of several variables to randomly generate a certain metaphor (or simile) of your choosing. For you left hemispheric brained individuals, this software is for you!

OCD Software
File Size: 48.0 KB
People are not the only things that can have psychopathological disorders. This software is an example of just such a case. OCD Software is an executable document that has, unfortunately, a diagnosis of obsessive compulsive disorder. Yep, this program is obsessed with neatness, symmetry, needless routine, and the like, and is just as annoying as any OCD human. See for yourself.

Possession Detection Wizard
File Size: 36.0 KB
Suspect someone you know is possessed by demons? Considering an exorcism on them? Well, before you do, you might want to consider giving them this multiple-choice questionnaire, which will determine if they (or you) are a demoniac, and have one or more nasty little demons indwelling your unfortunate spirit.

Psychic Software
File Size: 28.0 KB
At last, I've uncovered and ascertained the much coveted secrets of all credible psychic readers! Through hours of study, I've implemented every professional procedure of the psychics today into this single software device! I've developed a program that will tell you your fortune, horoscope, etc. with the accuracy of any real psychic. The only difference is that MY psychic readings are free. Fuckin' scam artist psychics!

Psychopathic Calculator
File Size: 36.0 KB
For a budding psychopath, this calculator will be most useful. Just as a mathematic calculator is a life saving tool for the neophyte statistician, the psychopathic calculator is a great aid for our world's early developing psychopaths, and I created this calculator just for them, generous man that I am. In short, this calculator will calculate variables that are relevant to a psychopath's sensibilities and cognition, and provide answers that a psychopath may need. Think like a psychopath with the Psychopathic Calculator.

Schizophrenic Software
File Size: 84.0 KB
Everyone loves a crazy schizophrenic! We hungrily watch them on the news, we root for them when they kill people in horror movies, we laugh at their pain when they are put in a straight jacket, tied to a gurney, and locked in the quiet room of your nearby state hospital as they scream in gibbering terror from the voices in their head. So it is just as fun when a software application has a diagnosis of schizophrenia as well, and this software has just such a diagnosis. Just note that schizophrenia is not the same thing as a split personality (damn misrepresenting media!), and download and laugh away at the poor Schizophrenic Software.

Viral Infector
File Size: 68.0 KB
Is there anyone you hate, that you wish only the worst of torments upon? Anyone you don't hate, but wish torment upon anyway, because discriminatory sadism is so limiting? Well with the Viral Infector, you may give your victim's a slight taste of beautiful torment, by hopefully scaring the piss out of them with this simulated virus (not a real virus). Upon opening the Viral Infector (which the executable is furtively titled "The Happy App" to avoid suspicion) the program pretends to delete your hard disk drive, and then goes to the blue screen of death. If your victims are gullible enough, let's hope they panic and do something stupid in the meantime.