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Sometimes I find I am really angry and frustrated with things that I cannot change. Ever. I mean, really angry; full of hatred and boiling malice (I've broken one too many of my valuable possessions in these rages). The things in this world that are highest up on this list of things I hate which I may never be able to rebel against (not if I want to live, anyway) are having to eat and sleep. I can't stand being forced to do these things much of the time. And that is what these things are: forced. I don't get to choose not to do them, this is oppression; I shouldn't have to stand for it. Seriously, what good is eating and sleeping in any way except being able to continue to live? Should I really have to work so hard just to live? I should work hard to be happy, but not just to be here. I was forced to be born, I gave no consent. And now in order to even stay in this world I have to pursue the full time job of gathering and eating food and laying around for eight hours a day doing nothing? What a fucking rip off. Let's start with eating. What's wrong with eating, hm? I mean, food tastes good, doesn't it? But think of all the work just for this five to ten minute activity of masticating and tasting oh so fucking delicious food. The tasting part is all right, in a shallow, hedonistic way. But you don't just get to eat food. You have to save up money to spend on it; you have to go grocery shopping for it; maintain your food in the kitchen (organize it, throw out bad food, etc.); you have to cook it; clean the dishes of it after you are done chewing away; you have to brush your teeth; and you have to defecate and urinate it all out of your system. That's a lot of fucking work! I don't wanna do all that! I've got shit to do; I have a life. To top this off, I have to eat three times a day?! I can't believe people aren't all bored to death with having to do this ridiculous activity three times a day, forever, until they are dead (hopefully that will be soon for these stupid people). The only fun that can be derived from eating is purely hedonistic. So is drinking alcohol. Let's compare, shall we? I like alcohol alright, it's neat. Tastes neat, makes me feel neat, whatever. But you know what? If I was forced to drink a six pack of beer three times a day for the rest of my life, I would HATE beer with a passion. It would get boring boring boring. I find myself hating beer right now just thinking about such a hypothetical scenario. Well that is what food feels like to me. Why should I have to do it? And I certainly have to do it. Life is great, I wanna stick around; and I put up with being forced to eat in order to live life. But really now, being forced to eat is offensive to me. Whenever I don't eat, I get lots of pain in my stomach and I feel tired and enervated. That pisses me off. That is assault and abuse. This thing called hunger not only demands I eat, but physically harms me if I don't obey it? That should be illegal! If I went around physically harming people by beating them because they won't buy, say, a software product of mine, I should be arrested. Same should be happening to whatever is at fault for making me have to eat. This is a mugging. Food essentially says: "eat me or I'll kill you!". That is a mugging, and it's a fucking crime. How dare I have to eat! Then there's sleep. I'm not sure which I hate more: eating or sleeping. With sleep, at least you don't have to be conscious while you're being forced to do something. So you don't suffer as much through the boredom. However, at least you can multitask while you eat; perhaps you can waste time by eating but also do something productive through the eating process by reading or at least thinking of something useful or contemplative. Can't do that with sleep. When you are asleep, your frontal lobes are completely inactive. This part of the brain is involved in rational, logical thought, which explains why dreams are so fucking stupid and don't make any sense: no frontal lobes mean your dreams are just as stupid as you and your non-functioning brain. So, you can't think about anything useful or productive while asleep. If people sleep eight hours a day on average then a third of our lives, or about 26 years, is spent lying on a bed like a slob doing absolutely nothing of value and thinking of absolutely nothing of value. As far as I'm concerned, you're not even alive when you sleep. Being asleep is not living, I'd rather be dead. So because of sleep, the average American lifespan is really like 45 or 55 years. So having to sleep is like dying early. Sleep is murder! Not that I have a problem with murder, mind you, but this is different. Sleep doesn't just murder anyone. It's murdering me, too! I wish I could murder it back. If there was no such thing as sleep, and our species had no concept of it, the idea would sound just as ridiculous to everyone as it actually is. Right now no one questions it because they are used to its abuse, and the sheep that are human beings can be conditioned to like anything. But if you proposed sleep to a species that didn't have to do it, you'd get laughed out of the room (and hopefully beaten before hand). We have to lie motionless and do nothing for eight hours every day? That sounds like being in a coma. That sounds like catatonia. It sounds like a mental disease. And that is what it is: a disease. Humans are flawed. You ever get so angry at something that isn't alive, that you wish with all your heart that it had feelings and sentient consciousness so that you could torture it and make it beg for death? Like a computer or a car. Sometimes I wish my computer could feel pain so I could torture it for hours. Fuck, I'd do that even if I wasn't angry; that'd be fun! But anyway, that's how I feel about eating and sleeping. I wish someone were responsible for it, so I could fill their organs with hot, liquid led and drop them in the ocean while they're still alive. And you know they'd deserve it. Anyone who likes eating or sleeping must be pretty damn boring. If you can't think of anything better to do than mashing up organic matter with your teeth and squeezing it down your esophagus or lying on your back like a comatose cripple, you need to get a life. The less I eat and sleep, the more time I have to study, go to school, read and learn, program, sculpt, draw, write and illustrate. The more time I have to do things that matter, the more productive I can be. Eating and sleeping is for unimaginative, lazy slobs who can't think of anything to accomplish that actually matters. So in short, people who like eating and sleeping, the overwhelming majority of people on earth, are all a bunch of disgusting, lazy slobs compared to me. And that probably includes you, doesn't it? I hate you already, you fat, lazy slob! Get a life! |