IntroductionI can't wait for the future to get here. The more of the future I see as time progresses, the more of the future I want. I want the future. I will make it mine. Technology, science, and globalization have been the natural course of the modern world, and I'm confident that these things will continue to be the future for me, and the rest of the world, no matter the costs. While these things have led to the suffering of many unfortunate "people", such as the concentration of capital away from some masses, exploitative working conditions in industrial settings for third world countries, and so on, I just can't force myself to give a fuck. Technology may hurt some people, but these are mostly people in developing countries. I say, so long as I'm not personally one of those victims, then onwards to the future, and everyone else be damned! The Genetic RevolutionOur human history is nothing but a series of important technological revolutions. Revolution is paramount, for it betides change, and change can be an improvement, and improvement is progress, and progress is the future. Our very first revolution wasn't even ours, for it began before we were human beings, about 2.5 million years ago. Homo habilis (our beloved ancestor) invented stone tools, bringing forth the stone age. The future has been nothing but a series of revolutions since then. Following was the Neolithic revolution, 10,000 years ago, with the invention of agriculture. Following that was the industrial revolution in the early 1800's. Now we're currently experiencing the information revolution, with computers, the internet, and data making every aspect of our lives easier (or at least my life, anyway. Your life isn't important). All this is what I call progress, and it certainly is beautiful. So, what's the next revolution, hmm? I'll tell you what! It's the genetic revolution! Genes, hopefully mine, will conquer all! Currently the best tool in the world is the computer, and the information it allows us to gather and calculate. Everything's becoming computerized. Well, it's only a matter of time before our current digital, binary computers become replaced with genetic, biological ones. I think biological computers are the future. All of our computer programming languages shall be replaced by the new programming language, the language of living software (which is what we are): deoxyribonucleic acid (DNA). No more C# or PHP, but DNA! And this step has already been taken. Synthetic biologists have already programmed calculators and even a tick-tack-toe game purely with human DNA. DNA is just software code that tells people how to think, behave, and grow. It's a kick ass language. It is predicted that the average personal computer will have the equivalent memory capacity and processing power of human beings by the year 2020. It is my hope that human and computer will be nearly indistinguishable from one another eventually, thanks to genetic engineering. All we need to do is merge these three things:
Once human beings master all three of these "technologies", we will be able to do almost anything with the guinea pigs that are the human race. We'll be able to genetically modify anything. We'll be able to program anyone to be as smart as or smarter than people like Albert Einstein or Isaac Newton when it comes to discovering new information about our universe. Indolence in the pursuit of this research can be deleted. Progress will grow exponentially. We could create utopia for the globe. Interestingly, we would be equally able to create a dystopia, with concentration of this awesome power in the hands of a few, cruel people. Hopefully I would be one of these cruel people, but I probably wouldn't (damn my luck). But any tool can be used for both good and evil. A gun, an atomic bomb, a computer, and even laws put forth by a government, are all tools, and can all be used to help or harm in equal proportions. But who gives a shit?! Cowardice is no excuse to put restraint on progress and the betterment of our species! Improve technology and science until the universe has all of its cosmic secrets beaten out of it, and it bends to mankind's merciless will. Immortality Shall Be Mine!One of the best things about the genetic revolution will be the cure it provides to the massive epidemic which has been plaguing living organisms for over 3.8 billion years: death. What a stupid thing for me to have to do. Die? I don't have time to be dead; I've got shit to do! But with the genetic cure to this that the future can provide, I won't be dying anytime soon, so HA! We've already discovered one gene that seems to be involved with old age. Nematodes (worms) apparently have the same gene, which has been mutated in a lab to triple the lifespan of that lucky little worm. We need to duplicate this with humans. Also, old age has been thought to be due to the shortening of telomeres, which are at the ends of the DNA of a biological cell. When a cell divides, this strand of DNA shortens. The longer you live, the more your cells divide, the more that happens, the shorter each cell's telomeres become. Once a cell loses its precious telomeres, the cell starts to die. Then you get old and die of "natural" causes like a loser. Fortunately, we have an enzyme called telomerase, which rebuilds these genetic fuses, and it works on skin cells in a Petri dish. Those lucky skin cells. Unfortunately, this shit's cancerous, so further testing is necessary. I suggest we test it on prison inmates, orphans, or the elderly, because these people would be no loss to society at all. Yay for science! I've heard one geneticist predict that by the year 2050, we will have unlocked the secret to eternal life vis a vis genetic engineering. All I have to do is live that long, and immortality will be mine. That shouldn't be too hard, with the way life expectancy has been rising. Wish me luck! Some may wonder what my motives are for seeking immortality. Well, it's not because of a fear of death. In fact, death sounds quite fun! Everybody does it, but no one knows what it does. What the fuck does it do? Will I retain my consciousness? Will I retain my knowledge? What in the hell is going to happen to me? Well, eventually I'm gonna find out. Even if I'm immortal, curiosity is going to get the best of me and I'm going to want to find out for myself what the fuck happens. Of course, death is a risky investment, because of so much uncertainty. Will I be reincarnated? Will I cease to exist? Is there a god, in which case I am definitely going to Hell? I only take calculated risks, which is why I'm hoping for science to discover whatever the "afterlife" is before I die. That way, I won't go into this investment blindfolded. Depending on the information I receive, I may not invest at all, remaining in the known universe for all eternity. But I'm not going anywhere anytime soon, so sorry to disappoint. I'm staying right here on planet Earth because my life kicks ass. My life rules because I can do anything I want. I can write this article, I can program my software, I can be mean to people and hurt their feelings, all because the first amendment says I can. I take full advantage of my liberties, whenever I can. If I can't, then I'll create my own liberties from scratch. Fuck the law! I am the law! This is my planet, you just live on it. So where's my rent money, bitch?! That's why I'm hoping the genetic revolution will cure my aging process, because as I see it, I'm awesome now, so a thousand years from now I'll still be awesome. Just like in the stock market, a trend is more likely to continue than to reverse, so: (Me = AwsomeNow ) + Time = (Me = AwsomeLater)So if I'm great today, I'll be great tomorrow. ConclusionThe present is great, but only because I'm here to make it so. The future will also require my presence to be enjoyed, because if I don't enjoy something, then no one else should either. If I don't get to witness the future, then there might as well be none at all. With the coming of the future, comes great technology, and with great technology comes great power. And great power does not come with great responsibility, that's a load of horse shit! When I'm all powerful, the only thing I'm going to be responsible for is the conquering of the planet, which I will inevitably reshape in my image. And so what if someone beats me to that position as cosmarch of the planet Earth? Revolution has always been preceded by risk, just like all progress. But I'm a long term investor, so I'm willing to wait for the bumps of Earth's next leap of technological progress to smooth out. Because in the end, science and technology, and hopefully me along with it, will win in the end. |